Irvine Counseling and Hypnosis
Marriage/Couples Counseling
Family Counseling
"Love is a behavior, where the safety and the welfare of the
other is guaranteed". H.Hendricks
Marriage Counseling or Couples Counseling can be utilized to assist
you with improving the quality of your relationship. In other words, to
help you be happier, feel closer, and re-energize both of you in
helping your relationship grow. The best marriages and relationships
have difficulties. Those difficulties usually involve one or more of five
crucial aspects of a relationship discussed below.
With the proper assistance, you can learn how to keep those five
aspects working well. The divorce rate in America is 45% after the
first marriage, 65% after the second, and 73.5% after three marriages.
The earlier you get help, the less likely you will be part of these
statistics.
Our only models for how to be in a relationship are our
parents, and our experiences. To relationship, we bring our
individual experiences, as well as our issues. Can you beat the odds,
and have a better relationship? Absolutely, but it takes a willingness
to work towards that goal, and a comittment to the safety of each
partner in order to improve the relationship. Marriage Counseling or
Couples Counseling with you and your partner can improve the
quality of your relationship which, in turn, will make each of you
happier.
As stated above, in order for a relationship to be successful, five
parts of the relationship need to be working well:
1)Communication 2) Honesty 3)Trust 4) Balance of Power, and
5) Intimacy.
Communication: We all communicate with each other.
However, when issues arise in a relationship, we often
communicate less effectively. The point where communication
usually breaks down also involves "triggers" or feeling like
our partner is "pushing our buttons". Our triggers are related to
our own experiences, and can be helped with Marriage or Couples
counseling. However,by learning more about each other, and
yourself, you will have the needed tools to keep each other talking at
those times when it's really important to do so.
Honesty: Honesty means being genuine, and telling the truth.
Each individual deserves privacy when they want. However,
when the issue affects both people in the relationship, being
genuine and telling the truth, can prevent issues regarding
that can place the relationship at risk. First, you have to be
honest with yourself, and then as a couple.
Trust: When a relationship is sustained by trust,
it has a sturdy foundation. Trust is very difficult when
one or both partners have a history of abandonment
or betrayal. Therefore, betrayal of trust can, and often
is, the "deal breaker" in a relationship. If you have trust
issues from the past, and are currently in a relationship,
counseling can assist you with those issues before they
negatively impact your relationship.
Balance of Power/ Control:
Each couple's balance of power and control may
differ. In a relationship, each individual may want
a certain amount of power and control. Each member
of the of the couple handles certain tasks for the mutual
benefit of the couple, as well as their own. If the balance
balance of power is shifted before an agreement is made
by both partners, problems can develop. Power and control
can be a stabilizing force in a relationship. However, changes
must be negotiated.
Intimacy: What is real intimacy? Yes, your sexual relationship
with your partner is part of intimacy, but intimacy is much more.
Being together as a couple or family in a quality way is a part of
intimacy. Talking with each other, supporting each other emotionally,
and doing activities together leads to stronger intimacy. When
intimacy issues arise, one or both partners have usually not
communicated openly, and, as a result, the other begins to feel
alone. Once this occurs, anxiety, depression and resentment often
result.
Learning and utilizing a few relationship tools can
protect your relationship now and in the future.
If you find that some problems come up several times
with no resolution, remember that Marriage Counseling,
Couples Counseling, or Family Counseling can be
utilized as a preventative step to stop the problems early,
so that your relationship can be healthy once again.
What is a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship is built on two foundations, and both need
to be strong. One is self-awareness because that helps you
understand what each of you contribute to the relationship.The
other foundation is based on love, which is so much more than
what we feel and say to our partner.A relationship requires the
behavior; the action needed to continuously demonstrate what
we feel towards our partner.
With Marriage Counseling/ Couples Counseling, or
Family Counseling, you and your partner will learn how to:
Be together in a new way
Improve Communication
Respect and attend to each other's needs
Break down those“walls”
and Love … as a behavior.
Family Counseling
The needed ingredients for healthy relationships within
the family utilize each of the various aspects above. In my
work with families, I look at the family as a whole, and how
each relationship is working. By looking at the whole, I can
quickly see where relationships need to work in a more
effective way. Then, by improving those relationships, the
family as a whole will learn how to function better.
I'm sure your significant relationship and your
family are most important to you. I invite you
to consider what has not worked in your
relationship or family, and decide instead,
to put your time and energy into what will.
Irvine Counseling and Hypnosis
Ph. 714-418-7454 or Email
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